“What We Do In The Shadows, a program that has never met a zombie panic crisis it couldn’t improve by tossing in a few more loudly yelled terrible ideas, is known for its controlled pandemonium. What We Do In The Shadows season 5 episode 5, titled “Local News,” takes that philosophy to its extreme, sometimes removing the “controlled” right off the dang thing as Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) makes a small slip-up and turns it into an experience of as Laszlo (Matt Berry) would say, blood, sweat, and tears.
What Happened In What We Do In The Shadows Season 5 Episode 5?
“Local News” kicks off with news from Staten Island, New York’s local station. It’s about the serious flood that’s been bothering the West New Brighton area lately. That’s where the infamous Vampire Manor is. Local folks are trying to control it, and Joanna Roscoe, our reporter on the scene, talks about it. She’s got Nandor the Relentless here as a witness to support her.
Instead, he tries to impress her with his old-fashioned ways but totally fails. At the end of the story, he nonchalantly mentions a flood he went through in 1892. Realizing his mistake, he tries to say it was 1992 to make it fit better with a ‘human lifetime.’ Joking around, Joanna claims she’s found “the secret to eternal life.”
Then Nandor catches his mistake and runs off. He goes back to the vampire house and tells his fellow vampires about the big mistake he made. He says the family’s been living there for centuries. They freak out, scared Joanna and the audience will find out they’re vampires. And then, calling it their “last dance,” Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) throws a chair out the window. Laszlo Cravensworth (Matt Berry) thinks they should murder Joanna to get rid of her as a possible problem. Nandor’s panicking, and he can’t get ahold of his old friend on the phone.
Guillermo visits his family to tell them he’s about to become a vampire. His ancestors are linked to a famous vampire slayer, so he thinks it’s time to deal with it. Eventually, he or they’ll have to murder each other. He’s always looking for a way to mention it. Right then, he turns on Channel 8 and hears Nandor’s chat with Joanna. He tries to make them forget everything they just saw or heard. Suddenly, there’s news of a likely thunderstorm, and Guillermo’s even more stressed.
Meanwhile, the vampires are trying to leave Staten Island with all their stuff. Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) says vampires are known for taking off suddenly. She decides to go by Sally from now on. Laszlo keeps pushing his plan. Someone starts banging on the well-made door. It’s Nandor who brought up his magic. Laszlo thinks kidnapping Joanna is a good first step. Nadja and Laszlo stay put when Guillermo calls their neighbor for advice.
But the neighbor can’t do anything. Guillermo’s getting more upset. Skipping dinner with his family causes problems. Miguel’s mad that Guillermo picks work over family time. Guillermo calls the house personally. As usual, Laszlo yells at him and suddenly hangs up. He goes to his mom’s room for a heart-to-heart. All he says is “things are going to change.” He cries, telling them he won’t see them again.
Guillermo’s vampire bloodline is a secret from his mom. She thinks his vague talk of change means something big’s happening in his life and tries to comfort him. She gives him his grandma’s necklace and builds him up. She knows his ways and thinks he’ll be back in a few days, feeling the same. Then he goes back to the vampire’s house to check on things.
According to Nandor, they realized they didn’t know Guillermo anymore. He’s so down that he decides to go outside. Joanna goes back to the vampires’ place to say the water problem’s fixed. Nandor and Laszlo grab her as she tries to tell the viewers. Suddenly, they watch their weird vehicle fall into a hole. So they return, and Colin sets the vehicle on fire to distract people.
Joanna films the vampires flying even though the news can’t show it live. The Leader figures it out and tells the other vampires. When the vampires reach the TV studio, they spell the reporters. Nadja and Nandor take over, reading from a prompter. Colin and Laszlo join them to make it look real, and mostly, they pull it off. Back home, Guillermo steps outside but gets hit by burning stuff. He had no clue the vampires were causing all this trouble.”
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